Sleep Wars

Two years into motherhood and I’m still wondering when the sleeping actually starts.

I remember when I was pregnant being so annoyed with vet parents who warned of no sleep or who offered up smug tidbits of sleep wisdom (probably the whole time laughing maniacally on the inside. Jerks).

Two days before delivery.

Towards the end there (see above huge-belly photo) I slept almost never. Especially when J was on a snoring streak. Blechhhhh.

I didn’t sleep when I was pregnant either but then I had 17 more kids and now I’m so used to it! 

I never actually had any sleep issues, but I hear just let them cry for a while, like 15 minutes, and they’ll just pass out.

Wait ’til that baby screams all night then you’ll really know what tired is.

Prepare to never sleep again. Or at least for the first year.

Ummm. Thanks. For the advice.

No shut the hell up and tell me what I really need to know.

Like, DON’T CO-SLEEP! No matter how tired you are and can not take another trip out of the bed to nurse, do. Not. Put. That baby. In bed with you.

But I did. Because I was exhausted (and suffering from PPD). And aside from sleeping in an incubator in the NICU for the first three days of his life, this kid has NEVER EVER liked sleeping in a confined area. I’m starting to wonder if it was the incubator that spoiled him. At first.

In the beginning when he was super small, it was all cozy and wonderful. The three of us, a little family, all snuggled up. So nice.

We procrastinated putting him in the crib, because we were all getting a reasonable amount of sleep with a newborn in the house.

But now. Now we have a problem. At 21 months mama is still sleeping with baby.

So where does dada sleep, then?

Poor dada.

So the other day I said, ENOUGH.

Sleep in your bed, dada! We have to just let him tough it out.

So where has mama been sleeping the past few nights??

On the floor of the nursery.

Joy.

So now I never sleep and have a backache.

Where’s my wine  mommy juice??